Sexual Assault

Who didn’t love Bill Cosby? For those who do not know or are too young to remember, he was a comedian, actor and producer. He portrayed wholesome family values in “Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids” and “The Cosby Show.” He gave white America a portrayal of wholesome black American family life and he provided opportunities for black Americans in the entertainment field. For that, we are grateful. And because of his legacy, we don’t want to believe that he is capable of assault.

However, he is in the news, not as a role model, but as a rapist. He is accused by over a dozen women of sexual assault. The accusers alleged they were given a drug that rendered them unable to protect themselves. In this regard, he can be seen as a violent predator.

In my reading of the news and facebook comments, I see first and foremost a display of denial. I would prefer to see first and foremost a discussion of empathy, safety and protection for those who believe they have suffered sexual assault. After empathy, safety and protection is addressed, it is then appropriate to explore our feelings about the assault.

We don’t know what Cosby did or did not do, but the allegations should not be dismissed. Just how many women are necessary to be taken seriously? One? A dozen? 50? 100?

Denials of the allegations against Cosby are many. For example, there are those who believe the timing of these allegations must indicate a conspiracy against positive black portrayals on TV; others believe that those who have made the allegations are just trying to get money; or, false allegations against the rich and famous allow the accusers to have their day in the spotlight. Some say that if some of the women didn’t come forward until now, the allegations must be false. I could go on and on.

Cosby’s case follows national statistics. First, Cosby knew and had some kind of relationship with the alleged victims. 77% of completed rapes are committed by someone who is known to the victim. Many of his accusers viewed Cosby as a mentor.

Second, at least two of his accusers filed charges decades ago, but most did not come forward until the limitations on crime had expired. In fact, rape or sexual assault is the violent crime least often reported to law enforcement (28%). Only 16% of rapes are ever reported to the police. The following was found as to why no report was made: 43% thought nothing could be done, 27% felt it was a private matter, 12% were afraid of police response, and 12% felt it was not important enough. In Cosby’s case they were right, no one wants to believe it.

Most people choose to look the other way. However, the entertainment industry cancelled his upcoming shows in the face of these allegations. The statue of limitations prohibits a trial of Cosby, but he can no longer portray a wholesome family man on TV and benefit from the wealth that comes from it.

For many survivors, support is critical toward healing. You can provide support through non-judgmental listening. Convey respect for their decisions about how to best handle the situation. Also, provide information on resources. The National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence at www.ncdsv.org is an excellent resource.