It’s Demoralizing to Ask for Help

Even though the government shutdown is over, these are still tough times for many Americans who are impacted by government funding cuts. The Farm Bill is set to kick people off SNAP. Analysts estimate these changes could lead to millions of people losing some or all their SNAP benefits.

Laid-off federal employees experience financial stress. Federal contractors and subcontractors face the most severe and immediate financial risk because there is no guarantee of backpay. They are generally not eligible for unemployment compensation. When times are tough, this population relies on help for rent/mortgage assistance, utility bill payments, and food.

Asking for help is one of the most profound human struggles, often causing feelings of shame and failure. The difficulty lies not simply in needing assistance, but in overcoming the expectation of self-sufficiency. They may be forced to swallow their pride to meet their basic needs. The experience is demoralizing.

While the act of asking for help is demoralizing for those in need, responding to these requests is not always easy or pleasant for the people being asked.

Many people feel good about being able to assist someone else. It affirms their own competence and generosity. Being asked implies they are seen as resourceful, which can be a huge boost to their ego and self-esteem.

But, if the request comes at a bad time, is overly demanding, or is seen as part of a pattern of dependency, the helper may feel burdened or resentful.

People are generally more willing to help and feel less burdened when asked by a close family member or friend. Helping a stranger or a distant acquaintance is more of a stretch. People are more likely to react positively if they believe the person asking is genuinely in need due to circumstances outside of their control (e.g., job loss, illness) and are deserving of help.

When government funding decreases, the strain is directly transferred to community members, the nonprofit sector such as food banks, community health clinics, shelters, and local charities. They see a surge in the number of people requesting. The non-profit sector may face their own funding cuts just as the public need rises. This creates a service gap that is extremely difficult for them to fill.

Here’s what I know. When people in small towns are in need, their communities respond in big ways. The close-knit nature of small towns is often the first line of defense. When a resident faces a crisis (like a house fire, major medical expenses, or job loss), the community often mobilizes quickly to organize fundraisers, silent auctions, or benefit dinners to provide immediate relief. Local residents volunteer time and labor for community projects, like cleaning up after a disaster, running food drives, or helping with home repairs for those who can’t afford it.

For example, three firefighters from the Elizabeth Fire Protection District were injured while battling a large grass fire in Jo Daviess County on April 8, 2025. A community benefit event was held, aimed at raising funds to help with the firefighters’ medical costs and recovery expenses. The fundraiser featured several activities typical of small-town benefits, including a pork dinner, a baggo tournament (cornhole), live music, a bake sale, 50/50 raffles, a silent auction, and even a GoFundMe drive. To top it off, I understand that a team of men provided manual labor to sustain the landscaping business of one of the injured firefighters. That’s amazing! This rapid, community-wide effort demonstrates the strong support system in Jo Daviess County for its first responders.

The government shutdown is over, but the need for assistance is still great. Recent government cutbacks are projected to increase this need for many people.

I’m not too proud to ask for your financial assistance. If you can give, your generosity will be greatly appreciated. If you don’t already have a preferred charity, consider The Community Foundation of Jo Daviess County. It has an existing Food Insecurity Fund. This fund supports programs and initiatives that impact food insecurity.

Mail a check to Community Foundation of Jo Daviess County, PO Box 77, Elizabeth, IL 61028. Memo: CFJC Food Insecurity Fund – SNAP.