In my work as a Marriage & Family Therapist, I often tell couples that in order to have a successful relationship, one needs three basic skills: the ability to soothe your own anger, the ability to calm your own anxiety and the ability to give and take love. Relationships suffer when any of these three […]
If you’ve ever experienced intense, gut wenching sadness or paralyzing fear you may wonder what possible function these emotions serve. Why do we have emotions and are they really good for anything? Surely we could do without them. Generally speaking, emotions guide us through life. Our fight or flight response is rooted in our emotions […]
According to the US Department of Labor, 26.5 percent of Americans volunteered in 2012. What makes someone serve food at a shelter, care for stray animals or visit nursing homes? Compassion. Human suffering is often accompanied by acts of compassion from others willing to help. Compassion is defined as the emotional response when perceiving suffering […]
Most companies frown on office romances, yet it is a common practice. A surprising number of couples meet their mates at work. According to a CNN survey, 40% of participants have had an office romance, and 66 % didn’t feel the relationship needed to be kept secret. Co-workers often have more time and opportunity to […]
As a psychotherapist, I entered the field of psychology because I wanted to help people. I want to believe in the goodness of humanity. I wouldn’t disagree that I can be naive at times. I want to believe in others even if lied to repeatedly. However, I am reminded periodically of the fact that not […]
Couples come to counseling secretly hoping that I can change their partner. They may take some responsibility for their part of the problem, but think the other is mostly to blame for the bulk of their unhappiness. So the question is “Can people change?” The answer is yes, and no. We can change our habits […]
As a psychotherapist, I perform a general mental health assessment toward the beginning of treatment. This is done in order to gain an understanding of a person’s mental health history and current conditions that might underlie their presenting complaint. Sometimes, when asked about a person’s psychiatric history, I am told that there was a nervous […]
How you feel about yourself radiates from you like radio waves, sending signals to others about how you want to be treated. People with high self-esteem respect themselves and expect others to treat them well. Those with low self-esteem send signals that they expect low regard. Self-respect in your right to be treated fairly and […]
There is often a feeling of uncertainty about divorcing. Professor Bill Doherty of the University of Minnesota developed a program to decrease the divorce rate. It is called the Minnesota Couples on the Brink Project. He believes that divorce happens because it is usually an attempt to solve a problem that people think can’t be […]
You’ve probably heard that the divorce rate is 50% to 60%. It turns out that’s an overstated statistic based upon faulty analysis in the 1970s, according to Dr. Kelman Heller in his article “The Myth of the High Rate of Divorce”. The more accurate figures are based upon complex factors that indicate the U.S. has […]