Couples come to counseling secretly hoping that I can change their partner. They may take some responsibility for their part of the problem, but think the other is mostly to blame for the bulk of their unhappiness. So the question is “Can people change?” The answer is yes, and no. We can change our habits […]

As a psychotherapist, I perform a general mental health assessment toward the beginning of treatment. This is done in order to gain an understanding of a person’s mental health history and current conditions that might underlie their presenting complaint. Sometimes, when asked about a person’s psychiatric history, I am told that there was a nervous […]

How you feel about yourself radiates from you like radio waves, sending signals to others about how you want to be treated. People with high self-esteem respect themselves and expect others to treat them well. Those with low self-esteem send signals that they expect low regard. Self-respect in your right to be treated fairly and […]

There is often a feeling of uncertainty about divorcing. Professor Bill Doherty of the University of Minnesota developed a program to decrease the divorce rate. It is called the Minnesota Couples on the Brink Project. He believes that divorce happens because it is usually an attempt to solve a problem that people think can’t be […]

You’ve probably heard that the divorce rate is 50% to 60%. It turns out that’s an overstated statistic based upon faulty analysis in the 1970s, according to Dr. Kelman Heller in his article “The Myth of the High Rate of Divorce”. The more accurate figures are based upon complex factors that indicate the U.S. has […]

Perhaps you or someone you know suffers from ongoing, intense pain. Sometimes pain is so severe that it brings you to your knees such as a kidney stone, herniated disks or migraine headaches. The kind of pain that keeps you from working, socializing or sleeping. You want the pain to stop – NOW. You’re so […]

A friend recently asked for me advise on how to talk to his son about depression. He didn’t know quite what to say. I appreciate his desire to help his son and his loss to find the right words. I recommend that when talking to a person whom you suspect is depressed, it is important […]

We can’t change the fact that people divorce. But too often, divorce is poorly handled, causing hardship to children. However, children from divorced homes can adapt in a healthy manner if the parents are able to work together. According to a new study by Robert Bauserman in the March Journal of Family Psychology children in […]

The idea of making personal changes excites many of us. We begin with enthusiasm and declare that “things will be different this time”. This time you really will lose twenty pounds, meet the love of your life and resolve the issues between you and your mother. However, too often we give up and are quickly […]

My sister was telling me about her circle of friends. Apparently, two of them had a falling out and aren’t speaking right now. This conflict makes it awkward for the rest of them when they get together. They don’t want to take sides and they don’t want to cause hurt feelings by excluding either or […]