Finding True Love: Part II

As a relationship counselor, I have been asked my opinion of online dating services, such as Match.com and eHarmony.com. Online dating services have revolutionized the dating process. It has provided a format to take charge of whom, when and where you meet others, rather than leaving it to chance. This is especially important in rural areas or small towns where the population makes it more challenging to meet the number of people from whom you might find a good match.

It is a normal, healthy desire to seek a partner. Research shows that people in satisfying love relationships live longer, healthier lives. But not all relationships are healthy. Don’t give up your sense of self and don’t settle for a bad or even mediocre partner.

My advice to someone looking for a relationship:

1. Be your best self.

Be the person that others would enjoy. Take care of old resentments and unresolved issues.

2. Fill your life with satisfying activities.

Enjoy your life now, even while you want something in the future, that may or may not happen. Don’t put your life on hold until that special person comes to your life. Purchase a home, get a dog, travel, get your master’s degree. Don’t wait until you have the perfect partner to share life experiences with.

3. Keep safety in mind when meeting someone new, they are after all a stranger and have not yet earned the privilege of trust.

Write down the identifying information about the person you are meeting and give it to a friend, or have your friend accompany you to the venue and occupy themselves while you get to know your potential match. I recommend you meet in a public place for a quick visit over coffee or dessert as a preliminary meeting.

4. Pace yourself.

Rejection and discouragement take a toll on one’s psyche. Pace yourself on dating sites, take breaks and have a casual attitude about dating.