Many people are feeling the strain of being isolated. We didn\u2019t expect Covid restrictions to last this long. The pandemic has kept people apart. Populations that were not used to being alone, like children and teenagers, may have been cut off from their social networks. Family members are often isolated from each other. Many individuals have died from COVID-19, often without family. About 36% of Americans reported feeling \u201cserious loneliness\u201d in the wake of the pandemic, according to Loneliness in America, a recent report by Harvard University.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By the US Census Bureau\u2019s latest count, there are about 36 million solo dwellers, and together they make up 28 percent of U.S. households. Declining marriage rates are contributing to the rise in people who live alone, but so too is the fact that more seniors are becoming widows or widowers. Yet, loneliness is not necessarily the result of being alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Close friends are important, but research shows that building networks of casual acquaintances can boost happiness, knowledge, and a sense of belonging. In 1973, Mark Granovetter, a sociology professor at Stanford University, published a paper entitled The Strength of Weak Ties. Until then scholars had assumed that an individual\u2019s well-being depended on the quality of relationships with close friends and family. You have an inner circle of people whom you often talk to and feel close with, and an outer circle. Granovetter named these categories \u201cstrong ties\u201d and \u201cweak ties.\u201d His central insight was that for new information and ideas, weak ties are more important to us than strong ones. The coronavirus pandemic shrinks our weak ties. People with larger networks of weak ties tended to be happier overall. As an example of a weak tie, I frequent our local Subway drive-through so often that the staff knows that I don\u2019t want napkins and I will have my own cup ready for a refill. I know when my favorite server will be on vacation, and I know that his baby turned one year old this week. Yet, we don\u2019t know each other\u2019s names. I\u2019m valued as one of their \u201cregular customers.\u201d We should continue to try and find ways to cultivate weak-tie and strong-tie relationships, in lockdown and beyond.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Negative social pressures around being alone have decreased. You don\u2019t have to get married or have a child as a prerequisite for a fulfilling life. As an aside, Pope Francis says choosing pets over kids is selfish. In response, the reaction on social media was heated. \u201cIs the Vatican gonna pay daycare?\u201d, one Twitter user asked. Some dog owners are dressing their dogs in papal costumes. Others would even argue that it is selfish to have children given overpopulation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
According to Bryan Lufkin in \u201cThe rise of Japan’s ‘super solo’ culture,\u201d being seen alone in social settings is has been destigmatized. A decade ago, many Japanese were so embarrassed to be seen eating alone in the school or office cafeteria that they\u2019d opt to eat in a bathroom stall. Appearing friendless was unacceptable. But many think Japan is changing. Instead of hiding in toilet stalls, people are stepping out and embracing being seen solo. From dining, to nightlife, to travel, even karaoke, new options catering specifically to individuals have popped up in recent years. It\u2019s known as the \u201cohitorisama\u201d movement: people choosing to do things alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Being alone and being lonely are two different things. It\u2019s actually relatively common to feel alone in a marriage. According to a 2018 AARP national survey, one in three married people over the age 45 report being lonely. \u201cSome people may wonder how it\u2019s possible to feel alone when you share a home, and spend so much time together, often in the same room. But it really has nothing to do with physical proximity \u2013 it\u2019s about emotional connection\u201d, according to the Gottman Institute. Learn how to battle marital loneliness by listening to this podcast from The Gottman Institute: \u201cSmall Things Often\u201d www.gottman.com\/podcast<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So, what can we do to minimize loneliness? Make an effort to be emotionally connected to others. Stay in touch with friends and family through phone, Zoom, and Facebook. Although in-person relationships are always better than virtual ones, virtual ones are better than nothing. The worst thing to do when lonely is to completely isolate and not talk to anyone. Reach out: ask, listen, encourage, and check-in with others.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Many people are feeling the strain of being isolated. We didn\u2019t expect Covid restrictions to last this long. The pandemic has kept people apart. Populations that were not used to being alone, like children and teenagers, may have been cut off from their social networks. Family members are often isolated from each other. Many individuals […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1011","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/interactionstherapycenter.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1011","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/interactionstherapycenter.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/interactionstherapycenter.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/interactionstherapycenter.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/interactionstherapycenter.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1011"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/interactionstherapycenter.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1011\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/interactionstherapycenter.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1011"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/interactionstherapycenter.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1011"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/interactionstherapycenter.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1011"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}