We can\u2019t change the fact that people divorce. But too often, divorce is poorly handled, causing hardship to children. However, children from divorced homes can adapt in a healthy manner if the parents are able to work together. According to a new study by Robert Bauserman in the March Journal of Family Psychology children in joint custody fare better than children in sole custody. According to Bauserman, joint custodial parents have fewer and milder conflicts than sole custodial parents. This may be because parents who choose to share custody have better relationships than those who don\u2019t. The lesson to be gained from this study is that whether you have joint or sole custody, parents need to work together.<\/p>\n
As a marriage counselor, I\u2019ve seen couples that are able to be emotionally mature, negotiate and even act kindly toward each other. But I\u2019ve also seen horrible divorces in which one or both parties cannot set aside anger and vengeance. If you find your ex-spouse too difficult to work with, it is advised that you emotionally detach from them, build a business relationship and keep children out of the war-zone.<\/p>\n
A marital breakup is most often accompanied by an emotional roller coaster as you worry about your survival. A flight or fight response is typical as you uncouple your finances, housing, belongings and time with your children. Calm yourself and detach emotionally from your partner before making permanent legal decisions. Be careful that you don\u2019t use the legal system to unleash your emotions and don\u2019t fight a legal process that you can\u2019t control. Thinking and believing the worst about each other can lead to serious complications.<\/p>\n
People can move from intimacy to a working relationship. Shift gears and move toward a business model in which you operate with written agreements and formal information. Think of a working relationship as something brand new, to be built from the ground up. You don\u2019t return to the way you related before. Use principles of good communication and negotiation skills. This can be an effective, kind and rational road to emotional and economic recovery for the family.<\/p>\n
Children who do best after a separation are those who have access to both parents, feel loved and wanted in each home and are not used as pawns between parents. Children should not have to struggle with a conflict of loyalty and should not have their lifestyle dramatically altered. Children are affected by the way their parents function. When adults are not functioning well or are behaving poorly, children are negatively effected. Keep them out of the war zone.<\/p>\n
Mom\u2019s House, Dad\u2019s House: Making Shared Custody Work<\/strong> by Isolina Ricci is an excellent resource for parents considering divorce.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" We can\u2019t change the fact that people divorce. But too often, divorce is poorly handled, causing hardship to children. However, children from divorced homes can adapt in a healthy manner if the parents are able to work together. According to a new study by Robert Bauserman in the March Journal of Family Psychology children in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-789","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/interactionstherapycenter.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/789","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/interactionstherapycenter.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/interactionstherapycenter.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/interactionstherapycenter.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/interactionstherapycenter.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=789"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/interactionstherapycenter.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/789\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/interactionstherapycenter.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=789"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/interactionstherapycenter.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=789"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/interactionstherapycenter.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=789"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}