Liar Liar Pants on Fire
NBC News Anchor Brian Williams was suspended for six months without pay. He apologized for “misremembering” a military incident while reporting overseas event. He committed the sin of stretching the truth. Bill O’Reilly also faces accusations of exaggerating the dangers he faced while he was a foreign news correspondent.
Most people would say that honesty is a trait they most desire in others and that lying is morally wrong. This is especially true in the journalism field. Brian Williams and Bill O’Reilly have tarnished their journalistic integrity. Reporters are expected to be as accurate as possible and to seek reliable sources including self-monitoring.
We’ve all done it. It is a human condition to lie. Lying is so common an occurrence that we have multiple names for it. Is it a barefaced lie, a big lie or bluffing? Is it bullshit, a butler lie, or a contextual lie? Is the lie intended to be a cover-up, deflecting, or is it a delusion? Is the lie an exaggeration, fabrication, or a dismissal? Is one economical with the truth, telling a fib, or committing fraud? Was it a white lie, an honest lie, a jocular lie, or a haystack answer? Does one lie-to-children or lie by omission? Was it a noble lie, minimisation, or misleading? Are you prone to a polite lie or are you a pathological liar? Have you committed perjury, puffery, or spoken with a forked tongue?
Robert Feldman, psychologist says that we lie, on average, three times during a ten minute conversation with a stranger or casual acquaintance. Some people lie up to twelve times within ten minutes. Sometimes these lies are harmless and sometimes they have poor consequences. Dr. Feldman wrote The Liar in Your Life: The Way to Truthful Relationships. Why do people lie so much? Most often people lie to be agreeable or to make us feel better about ourselves. Some lie to gain an advantage over us. And many of us lie to ourselves.
We all wish we could spot a liar but only the most highly trained people can do so. But when we spot a lie, we can address it by understanding that all behavior serves a purpose. When confronting a lie, ask “what need is being met by the behavior of lying?” Did the lie serve to bolster their self-esteem, a need to feel safe, a need to protect another from hurt feelings, a need to feel some sense of control, or a need to achieve a goal? There are multitudes of reasons for telling a lie.
Generally speaking, honesty is the best policy. But there are exceptions. The problem is that lying creates problems for us. It can damage relationships by eroding trust. If you catch yourself having told a lie, taking responsibility for it will earn respect and create fewer problems. Consider the long term effects.