Marriage Rescue

You’ve probably heard that the divorce rate is 50% to 60%. It turns out that’s an overstated statistic based upon faulty analysis in the 1970s, according to Dr. Kelman Heller in his article “The Myth of the High Rate of Divorce”. The more accurate figures are based upon complex factors that indicate the U.S. has two separate divorce rates for women. There is a difference between college-educated women who marry after the age of 25, and a higher divorce rate for low income, primarily minority women who marry before the age of 25 and do not have a college education. The divorce rate in first marriages peaked at about 40% around 1980 and has been declining since that time to about 30% to 40% depending upon age, education and income in the 2000s.

But what can you do to increase your chances of a long term successful marriage? Couples that devote an extra five hours per week to their marriage can improve their marriage over the years, according to John Gottman, author of Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: and How You Can Make Yours Last.

PARTINGS – Before these couples say goodbye every morning, they find out one thing that each is going to do that day. (2 minutes x 5 days = 10 minutes)

REUNIONS – At the end of each workday, these couples have a low-stress reunion conversation. (20 minutes x 5 days = 1 hour, 40 minutes)

AFFECTION – Touching, grabbing, holding, and kissing – all laced with tenderness and forgiveness. (5 minutes x 7 days = 35 minutes)

ONE WEEKLY DATE – Just the two of you in a relaxed atmosphere, updating your love. (2 hours once a week)

ADMIRATION AND APPRECIATION – Every day, genuine affection and appreciation is given at least once. (5 minutes x 7 days = 35 minutes)