Older People Tend to Be Invisible

Older Americans tend to be invisible – not valued or taken seriously.

A friend of mine wrote: “I go to power yoga. I am older and heavier than everyone there by 35 years *and* pounds. There were four of us, but for one hour the instructor never looked my way – never saw me as I was invisible to her. I should have known better than to go to Flirty Girl Fitness, but it was so convenient – just a block from my house! Better find a group my own age.” She went on to say, “As I age, I pay more attention to the elders amongst us, as that’s the direction I’m headed. When I was younger, older persons were also less visible to me.”

A second example comes from a TV show “Britain’s Got Talent.” Paddy and Nico come to the stage for a brief interview before they perform ballroom Salsa. They have an obvious age difference in that Paddy is clearly in her senior years and Nico is in his younger years. Before seeing the performance, these dance partners are asked about the nature of their relationship (as if that’s relevant), and Paddy’s age (80), do they think they will win this show? (as if to imply they don’t have a chance). At one minute twenty seconds into the tango Simon yawns and at one minute thirty seven-seconds he hits the horn to disqualify them. Then the tango gets amazing with turns and flips and the crowd goes wild! Simon has to apologize for judging too quickly. It appears that he misjudged them based upon Paddy’s age as if her performance was not to be taken seriously.

So what’s going on here? Why are older persons less valued? The fact is older people are different from younger people in some ways. They might have different interests, tastes, and attitudes, as well as different political views and ways of seeing the world than younger people. But they may differ in no other way than they have different ages.

Younger people are often less comfortable talking with an older person. Perhaps they should be careful in their language and behavior so as not to offend. If they can’t be authentic, they may exclude the older person from their inner circles.

But that being said, shouldn’t we strive for diversity? Diversity encompasses acceptance and respect. It understands that each person is unique and valuable, whether there are differences of race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, economic status, age, physical abilities, religious or political beliefs. It is to our benefit to cultivate relationships with people who are dissimilar to us. Mentally healthy persons are able to embrace differences and strive to honor the rights, safety, dignity and worth of every individual. In doing so, the world is a healthier place.