People Are More Likely to Accept Advice When They Understand the “Why”

As a psychotherapist, I offer guidance on emotional distress, relationships, and life changes. People often accept my advice, but not always.

For example, if you come to me with intense anxiety, I may suggest some grounding tools and cognitive behavioral skills. What if I recommend that you hum, hug yourself, rock back and forth, and pay attention to what you can touch? Would you eagerly comply with the task, or politely nod your head in agreement while privately thinking, “this is nonsense”?

While a simple “do this” might work occasionally, most people are far more likely to follow advice when they understand the “why” behind it.

The Hum, Hug, Rock, Touch exercise is a grounding technique designed to calm the nervous system during moments of high anxiety, sensory overload, or panic. This is one of many tools developed by trauma-informed pioneers in the field of trauma recovery.

It works by stimulating the vagus nerve (the main component of the parasympathetic nervous system), which tells your body it’s safe to move out of “fight or flight” mode and back into “rest and digest.”

Close your eyes and create a low, steady humming sound in your throat. If humming feels a bit awkward, make the “Voo” sound. The vibration stimulates the vagus nerve near your vocal cords, naturally slowing your heart rate.

Cross your arms and give yourself a firm squeeze. Deep pressure releases oxytocin and provides a sense of physical containment/security.

While holding that hug, gently sway your body back and forth or side to side. Rhythmic movement mimics the soothing motions used to calm infants, regulating the vestibular system.

Stop rocking and release your arms. Reach out and find one object near you. Focus on the texture, such as the fabric of your pants, a cold desk, or a smooth stone. This “external grounding” breaks the cycle of internal panic by forcing your brain to process tactile data.

Take one final, normal breath. Notice if your shoulders have dropped slightly or if your heart rate has slowed down. Even a small shift is a win for your nervous system.

This exercise is particularly effective because it’s “stacked.” While some grounding techniques utilize only the mind, this exercise employs a combination of vibration, pressure, rhythm, and texture simultaneously. It can serve as a biological reset for when you feel intense stress or anxiety.

Don’t get me wrong. Psychotherapy is far more complex than finding the right tool for a particular problem. But clients generally appreciate a tool that offers relief in the moment. A simple hum, hug, rock, and touch technique is simplistic, but it is a tool that you can utilize in an intense moment of anxiety.

Now, having heard the rationale behind the simple hum, hug, rock, and touch recommendation, you’re probably more likely to try it. Am I right?