Reflections On Aging

I turned 65 two weeks ago. It’s a sobering number, causing me to think about the aging process. The thing is, I don’t feel old. In my mind, I haven’t aged. I’ve come to think that growing older is like wearing a different coat for each new season, but I’m the same person. My core personality, strengths, weaknesses, and aptitudes haven’t changed all that much.

Ageism exists for many. We are presumed to have diminished mental, physical, psychological, and functional abilities. Older people are different from younger people in some ways. They might have different interests, tastes, and attitudes, as well as different political views and ways of seeing the world than younger people. But they may differ in no other way than they have different ages.

Throughout most of the world, life expectancy is increasing, as well as the percentage of people who are over 65 years of age. As our population ages, we should check our negative attitudes and perceptions toward older adults. Not all seniors are dependent, frail, sickly, weak, or a burden to society.

Transitions can be difficult for everyone. The majority of people do not experience a midlife crisis. Significant changes or losses may pose an opportunity for reflection on life’s meaning and purpose, but it results in more of a mid-course correction than a midlife crisis. Life changes that come with an empty nest and retirement don’t tend to make people more or less happy.

Mental illness is not a normal part of the aging process. It is not normal for an older person to be depressed or suffer from other mental illnesses. And, if an older adult does experience a mental illness, it is treatable, just as are mental conditions for younger people.

The opportunity to be alive as an older adult implies resiliency. We have lived long enough to have survived challenges and overcome adversity. The key themes of resilience are a sense of purpose, independence, confidence, continuous learning, and family connection. One needs a sense of purpose to thrive. A sense of independence is found among self-directed people, rather than being led.  Confidence is a sense of knowing who one is, at any age. This includes being confident in one’s life decisions with some acceptance, pride, and self-forgiveness. Continuous learning provides mental stimulation and the ability to be adaptable to changing circumstances. Connection to family, or families-of-choice, enrich our lives as we age.

I’ll end this with a quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald. “For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.”