The Guilt of Leaving Our Furry Friends Behind

Picture the sad look in your dog’s eyes as they climb into your suitcase, pleading you do not leave them. It can be heartbreaking.

According to data pulled from a study of 5,000 pet owners in the US, commissioned by TrustedHousesitters,

• 52% say their pet’s sad face, while they pack, has made them feel too guilty to travel.
• 18% would rather leave their partner at home to care for the pet while they travel solo.
• 9% of pet parents admit they’d feel worse leaving their pet than forgetting their kid’s birthday.

Although some people would find these statistics a sign of human neuroticism, I would say it is a healthy sign of empathy and emotional connection.

Animals, particularly pets, are often seen as innocent and vulnerable, which can evoke strong emotions and compassion. Their unwavering loyalty can foster a strong bond and a sense of emotional closeness.

Many pet owners consider their animals to be part of the family, and they often treat them as such. Demographic trends, such as living alone or delaying having children, may contribute to pets filling the role of family members and companions. They aren’t only like family, they are family, whom we see more often than our human family members. Pets can offer emotional support, reduce loneliness, and increase feelings of social support.

Of course, we’ll miss them. But should we feel guilty if we leave them at home for extended periods, assuming that they are appropriately cared for?

Guilt turns into a potential mental health issue when it becomes persistent, excessive, or overwhelming, interfering with daily life and causing significant distress. This can manifest as a “guilt complex,” where feelings of guilt are irrational or inappropriately strong and persist despite external assurances or a lack of direct responsibility.

We do, after all, have a life of our own, beyond the responsibilities of pet ownership. We strive for a balance between independence and interdependence.

If guilt is a familiar and excessive emotion in your life, it may be a sign of a mental health condition. It may be a factor in depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorders. If you find that excessive guilt interrupts your daily life, impairs relationships, makes you less productive, or leads to social isolation, a mental health assessment is advisable.