What’s Up with Luxury Weddings?

Amazon founder, Jeff Bezos, and his fiancé, Lauren Sánchez, held a luxury wedding in Venice, Italy. It was dubbed one of the most luxurious weddings of all time, with a reported cost of $23-$34 million. Although it would not be my choice of a wedding, I wish them both a lifetime of love and happiness.

Of course, there were objections to the extravagance, especially from people who live paycheck to paycheck. Luxury weddings strike a particular nerve when many people face economic hardship. Protesters said, “I wonder how many kids could have been fed for the price of Jeff Bezos’ wedding?” 

Helen Fisher, PhD, says that we are born to love. This feeling of elation that we call romantic love is deeply embedded into the human brain. Her theory of love proposes that humans experience love through lust, romantic attraction, and attachment. They are associated with hormones like oxytocin and vasopressin (which promote bonding and pair-bonding), dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. Romantic love activates the brain’s reward system and creates intense motivation, focus, and craving for a partner. 

Finding a partner can make your stomach flutter and make you want to shout to the universe that you have found your soulmate, whom you will love forever. You want to make the day special and memorable because it is a once-in-a-lifetime event worth celebrating in a grand way.  

Weddings reinforce bonds between the couple, their families, and friends, as they invest their time and money in the couple. The couple takes vows of commitment in front of witnesses, which creates accountability. 

The wedding industry has normalized high financial expenditure to create “Instagram-worthy” moments as an investment in love. In the US, the average wedding cost is around $29,000-$30,000, with 18% of couples budgeting between $30,000-$50,000, which many consider lavish. However, more than half of couples’ budgets are under $10,000. 

Beware of causing financial strain and relationship stress. Debt is a leading cause of marital conflict. Lavish weddings are more likely to end in divorce. Interestingly, multiple studies show that spending over $20,000 on a wedding increases the risk of divorce by about 1.6 times compared to spending between $5,000-$10,000, and couples who spend less than $1,000 have the lowest divorce rates. 

Couples who spend less on their wedding tend to have better relationship outcomes for several reasons. First, lower wedding expenses mean couples are less likely to start their marriage in debt. Second, there is a stronger focus on shared relationship values. Third, planning a modest wedding often requires communication, compromise, and aligning core values, which are important skills for a successful marriage. 

Wedding planning often leads to an increase in a couple’s conflict. The process brings significant stress from managing budgets, guest lists, family expectations, and tight timelines, which can cause more frequent arguments, resentment, and strained communication. No wonder these otherwise lovely people become bridezillas and groomzillas as they control, demand, and become obsessed with perfection. 

So, which do you choose, an opulent or a simple wedding? The choice reveals what the couple finds most meaningful.

Choosing an opulent wedding reflects values such as a desire for social recognition, tradition, celebration of success, and making a memorable impression on others. 

Opting for a simple wedding highlights values like practicality, intimacy, fiscal responsibility, and a focus on personal connection over public display. It suggests the couple values authenticity and shared experiences. 

Bezos and Sanchez chose social and celebrity status. Their event was attended by high-profile guests, including celebrities, business leaders, and royalty, reflecting a desire to celebrate among peers and reinforce social standing at the highest level. It reinforces his position as one of the world’s most affluent individuals. As one of the world’s richest people, he has both privilege and social responsibility. He asked guests to forgo gifts. Rather than receive gifts, they instead picked three Venetian charities to which Bezos and Sánchez will donate on behalf of guests. They also attempted to be socially responsible by spotlighting Venetian artisans and sourcing their goods locally. 

You might choose differently. Regret is common. In the US, 52% of newlyweds say they wished they had spent differently on their wedding, split between those wishing they had spent more and those wishing they had spent less.

Your choice reflects your values and could predict the success or failure of your marriage. Choose wisely.